Why would you want to look at naked, photo-shopped, Playboy Lindsay when you can look at busted, cranked, hot mess Lindsay? Yeah I thought so.
11. THE WETSUIT
It’s not so much the actual wetsuit. I mean, no one looks good in those things. But it’s the look on her face, and how she is eyeing down the paparazzi. It’s the full make-up worn in the water. And it’s the scheme behind this little ‘photo shoot’; that screams, “Look at me, I’m surfing, I’m healthy, I’m drinking water, I couldn’t possibly be a druggie / alkie.”
10. THE HOUSE ARREST PHOTO-OP
Remember this? When she was given house arrest instead of jail time. Most other human beings would be thankful, go into hiding, and serve their time quietly. Nope, not Linds she decided this was the perfect time to do an interview with Life & Style; showing off her lavish ‘prison’. The worst part? The gigantic self-portrait in the back ground. This is remorse? PUH-LEASE.
9. THE HAIR
This year it was bleach blonde, emphasis on the bleach. And the extensions, oh the extensions. Really? I know she isn’t rolling in it like she used to be but this has to be the cheapest weave I’ve ever seen. Some may try and use the Britney card here and argue all extensions look like this. Umm no. Britney was bald, BALD. And she just doesn’t care what she looks like. LL CARES! Yet, it seemed she was scrimping on her weave all year long.
8. THAT DRESS
This what Lindsay wore to the most annoying wedding ever. This white, plunging mess! Someone referred to it as a knock-off of a knock-off of a Cavalli (damn I wish I could remember where I read that).
Anyway, the dress is actually a Temperley gown that has also been worn by Pippa Middleton. Prim & proper Pippa! I can’t image this gown looking like a trashy knock-off on Pippa so … if it’s not the dress it must be the girl. Plus she brought Dina; automatic fail.
7. LL & MANSON
This heinous publicity grab proved to everyone that this party girl ain’t done partying. 3 stints in rehab and counting! Ugh and the weave issues persist.
6. MANGLED WITH MOM
Most kids don’t want to party with their Mom. But what if Mom partied just as hard/harder? Clearly sobriety is neither of their priorities.
5. MUGSHOT #5
Ugh, and then there was that mugshot. That mysteriously puffy and bloated mugshot. She seriously could be mistaken for being in her mid 30’s, no? And handcuffs … again? NOT A GOOD LOOK.
4. THE LIPS
Don’t even try to deny it. Your lips couldn’t possibly take more collagen, or botox, or whatever they are shooting lips up with these days. You know it, and I know it. And from girl to girl, it doesn’t look good (not by a long shot).
3. THAT BRONZER
There is contouring. And then there is this.
2. THE TEETH
1. THE WORST OF THE WORST
See this is why normal people don’t party with Mom. This is Lindsay and Dina White Girl Wasted and making out. I have no words.