In case you were wondering, these are things you can to do so you can be exactly like ~*ur indi3 id0l*~ Lana Del Rey.
1) Instigate a harmless allergic reaction to induce swollen lips. I like to use kiwis because they are the perfect amount of painful. Angst. Pure angst.
2) Adapt an expression that is nothing short of sultry and depressed. I would suggest thinking of something really funny, like Clay Aiken’s existence, and suppress your laughter with an uncomfortable grimace.
3) Learn how to use iMovie, Windows Movie Maker, or Final Cut Pro. You need to do this so you can edit stolen footage together to achieve tentative YouTube fame. Note: This is imperative if you want to be successful.
4) Meet someone with a tattooed forehead and hang around an American flag together. Try and act sexual in a tactful way.
5) Cultivate new interests so you can be dubbed quirky and weird by the media. Some points of interest can involve: anything deemed conceptual by the general public, anything deemed pretentious by the general public. Do not find any joy in cat memes because those are too mainstream.
6) Merit your own section on Hipster Runoff so people can make fun of you at large. After all, any publicity is good publicity. Right? I’m right, right?
7) Embody vintage. Whatever that means.
8) If you have blonde hair, you’re going to have to change that because it’s not allowed. Opt for a mahogany or a rich auburn, instead.
9) If your name is Lizzie, change it. It does not radiate enough *star power*.
10) And finally, avoid SNL at all costs. Because you’re never going to live that down.