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10 Things To Clean Out Of Your Closet. Now.

Assuming you aren’t a compulsive/extreme/reality tv-ready hoarder, sporadically embarking on closet cleaning escapades is a healthy way of maintaining order in your addicted-to-shopping/closet-will-never-be-big-enough complex. I understand that to many, closet cleaning seems like an impossibility. Questions like “What do I keep?”, “What do I throw out?”, “Will I regret giving that away?” (directly followed by “I’m totally going to regret giving that away”), are constant, persistent, and generally really scary. However, when it comes to your pink Juicy Couture velour sweatsuit circa 2004, the fact of the matter is, that sh*t is never going to come back into style. If keeping it in your closet collecting dust won’t do you a world of good, why let it taint you? Set it free, young squire, set it free.

Juicy Couture’s existence

Although this issue is mostly concentrated in the existence of JC’s signature tracksuits and terry cloth tube dresses, anything that comes from ~gaudy central~ probably isn’t something you want in your closet. Probably.

Babydoll dresses

I must admit that looking like a doll is socially acceptable/kind of cool in some scenarios, but this look does really flatter anyone, unless you are with child. In which case it’s still not flattering, but it is more socially acceptable and wildly understood.

**Denim with rhinestone encrusted pockets (cough Rock and Republic)**

Shiny butt? Shiny butt.

Primp thermal shirts

You’d think that bunnies emblazoned on a cozy thermal shirt would be something we should all be interested in, right? Wrong. Rhinestones optional.

Military/orchestra inspired blazers

Inspired by Balmain, these ~special~ blazers had a ~special~ place in the closet of every fashion girl. I don’t understand why, but it was real and it happened and it was recent but I’m over it and I’m ready to move on now.