In the past couple of decades, we have seen countless one-hit-wonder-turned-musically-irrelevant boy bands/boy band types. With frosted tips and baggy pants in tow, they were the ones who ruled the radio before the members of One Direction came out of the womb and before Justin Bieber turned Stratford into a real place attraction.

So for the sake of recollecting on our younger years with only the fondest memories, here is a list of dudes who were totally certified cool at one point. Because they were not born jokes. Because that is not nice.

98 Degrees (specifically Nick Lachey)

Some people were fooled, but I always knew 98 Degrees wasn’t really real. Besides the fact that they were in my favourite childhood movie, Mulan, their existence was like a very brief, but strangely lingering, figment of my imagination. If you are interested though, they are reconvening for a performance in Pennsylvania in August. So that is totally great and will undoubtably be very successful. PS: It took a lot of willpower to not make a temperature-related joke.

Aaron Carter

Decided to overlook the Backstreet Boys because I actually like them. But Aaron Carter, the brother of my favourite BSB, is a different story. I will not complete that thought because I want you fill in the hypothetical blanks. Mainly regarding the above photo, though.

O-town (specifically Ashley Parker Angel)

I know I was not the only one who liked, (…and perhaps performed a series of ~alternative ~ dances to…), O*town. And perhaps uh, had a poster of uh, Ashley Parker Angel on my wall. Uh.

Jesse McCartney

Originally part of the uber-successful pop group ‘Dream Street,’ I am fairly certain that Jesse McCartney walks around with ‘Beautiful Soul’ quietly echoing in the background. For everyone in his general vicinity to hear. That is just my opinion though, so feel free to disagree.

Hanson

There was this brief time in the mid 2000s when the essentially wordless ‘MMMBop’ became cool again. I know this because someone gave me a singing birthday card. Besides that, though, the Hanson brothers are married with a collective million kids so I am very happy that they are demonstrating their existence through their evident fertility.

Ryan Cabrera

Forever labeled in my head as ‘That Guy With The Hair’, Ryan Cabrera’s romantic involvements have proven to be more extensive than his musical career. I figure it’s okay, though, because the singles that actually existed as real singles were actually pretty good and catchy and may perhaps still be on rotation on my multiple playlists maybe.

Teddy Geiger

He made sure to let us know that ‘For You I Will’. I don’t know if ‘you’ is me or someone else, so I suppose this is completely up for interpretation. But regardless, I really and truly believe him. Because reasons. I also really and truly believe that he is coming out with a new album in the near future and this is actually a fact and I am not making it up and I am excited.

The Moffatts

Out of curiosity, I decided to turn to some reliable sources to update myself on all things Moffatts (yay Canada!). Unfortunately, their Wikipedia page is the single most confusing thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Apparently one of them is currently living in Thailand and another two of them are part of a band called ‘Same Same’. You’d think their entire “we are triplets from British Columbia” scenario was different enough to begin with, but their various relocations is enough to make my meagre human brain explode.