Because you know you want to see it…
If you haven’t seen ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ it’s probably because you’re waiting for the buzz to die off in hopes you’ll save yourself the embarrassment.
It’s one thing to read about BDSM in the privacy of your home (or on an e-reader while riding the subway), but to publicly attend a screening of what’s become ‘mommy-porn’ mania is another story.
Forget feeling awkward or embarrassed around the general public. What if you ran into your boss, or worse, your boyfriend’s mom? And what if that person asked to sit with you? There’s just no coming back from that.
After discussing it at length, we’ve decided there needs to be some ‘Fifty Shades’ screening guidelines stat. Whether you’re waiting for the Blu-ray release or plan to hit the theatre this weekend, we’ve put together a few tips on how to survive a ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ screening without losing your dignity.
Tip One: Shady Business
A pair of your coolest shades acts as the perfect disguise if you plan to go unnoticed. Plus, they should help prevent unnecessary eye contact.
Tip Two: Blindsided
You can’t wear your shades during the movie if you actually want to see the movie. Opt for a pair of shades that flip out and double as blinders. It’s your best shot at avoiding the surrounding patron’s awkward reactions while preventing them from seeing yours.
Tip Three: Hanky-Panky
The Christian Greys of the world aren’t the only ones that can benefit from a pocket handkerchief. This movie is hot and you’re going to need something to wipe that sweat away.
Tip Four: Fan Girl
A handkerchief can only take you so far. There’s over 20 minutes of hot-and-steamy sex in this film, people! A fan should ensure you don’t pass out from overheating.
Tip Five: Icing on the Cake
Like Anastasia Steele, you’re going to blush once or twice during Christian’s on-screen seduction. Adding a little extra cover-up will help conceal those rosy cheeks.
Tip Six: Kate’s Report
Take notes! You never know what you might learn. 😉
Tip Seven: Wide Open
The reviews have been mixed since the release of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ but it’s important to go in with an open mind. Make your own assessment. Your opinion is important too!