We all have ‘crush lists’ comprised of -ultimate- dream dudes who live in a happy fantasy land (AKA a compartment in our minds). Residents? Gentlemen like Adam Levine and Ryan Gosling. Activities? Tossing footballs back and forth, jamming out during acoustic sessions, growing beards as we require them to, etc. While these dudes are great and all, there’s another compartment in our minds for another kind of crush: the fictional character crush. These imaginary dudes’ names are scrawled all over our notebooks and, needless to say, they occupy the top spots on our crush list.
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Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles
This may be one of the sweetest love stories of all time. Quirky, unique redhead secretly loves most popular stud in school who just happens to be a senior. And *SPOILER ALERT* he digs her too!!! In fact, he leaves his “perfect” blonde, cheerleader girlfriend for her! *Sigh* if only life were like a John Hughes film. Jake Ryan, the hunky senior played by Michael Schoeffling, is a classic example of a fictional dreamboat. He’s a man who sticks to his convictions, and a man with a collection of sweet flannel. If he was your main squeeze you’d get to drive around in his Dad’s Rolls Royce or Jake’s sleek red Porsche. Also, at his amazing house parties, you’d get to drift about with him, linked arm in arm. You bite that lip, Jake Ryan.
Jordan Catalano from My So-Called Life
Who is a dreamier crush specimen than Jordan Catalano, played by a young Jared Leto? Pretty sure no one.
With Jordan’s fabulous flannel and choker accessories, he sets the bar VERY high. Jordan was in a band (Frozen Embryos), making him a prime dream date candidate. The courting ritual would be very drawn out, as Jordan takes his sweet time making the first move. This is due to his semi-spacey nature, and tendency to let time pass as he remains static – in a forever cool slouched position. He’s a man of very few words, but there’s no need for talking when those startling baby blues are staring into the depths of your soul.
The Boys of Freaks and Geeks
Source: Freaks and Geeks
The sweetest flashback ‘misfits’ have to be Daniel Desario and Nick Andopolis (played by the young James Franco and Jason Segel *AWW*) from Freaks and Geeks. They are beyond adorable. Dating Daniel might be a little tumultuous, as he is one moody brute. But I mean, what can you expect from a classic bad boy type? That’s part of the charm. He’s a sweet guy (who’s a bit of a flight risk), but most importantly, he wears his unwashed hair amazingly well.
Source: Freaks and Geeks
Nick Andopolis on the other hand, is more of a sweet sidekick to his James Dean counterpart. If you’re the ‘hard to get’ type of gal, he’ll sweetly court you until you finally give in. Once you’re going steady, he will serenade you with energetic drum solo’s and personalized ballads. What more can a gal ask for?
Josh from Clueless
If you’re looking for a more *sophisticated* option for a fictional crush, look no further than Josh (played by the super cute Paul Rudd) in Clueless. Cher’s older step brother Josh is so charming with his witty ways and college-guy status. As Cher put it in her infamous inner-monologue, Josh is cute in an unconventional way, he “dresses funny”, and is “a hideous dancer”. These qualities all provide further evidence to the fact that Josh is adorable and quirky AND the perfect guy for you. Together you will fight over the remote (CNN vs. Beavis and Butt-head), playfully make fun of one another, and overall just have an enviably goofy time with each other.
Trip Fontaine from The Virgin Suicides
Trip Fontaine, played by a young Josh Hartnett, is the definition of a heartthrob. He may be the smoothest talking, coolest operator of all time (with his bell bottoms, longish locks, and shell choker). He’s THE guy to be seen with and will make you feel like the only girl in the room when he sits next to you and whispers that you’re a stone fox. Surely that utterance will continue to echo in your mind for years to come. Despite whatever his ulterior motives may be, he will simultaneously charm you and your parents. Just be warned: he is a total heartbreaker with little regard for his destructive capabilities. I suppose this is just a typical risk one takes when starting up with this type of dreamy outlaw.
Sorry your boyfriends seem inferior, now. Bye.